KNOW THE TRADITIONAL VOWS
Start by reading traditional, by-the-book vows — from your own religion, if you practice a certain faith, and others, as well — to see what strikes a chord with you. You can incorporate these into the original words you write, or just use them as a jumping-off point for your personalized vows. Once you’ve found a few you love, consider what it is about the style that draws you to those vows in particular.
Decide how you want your vows to come across. Will they be humorous? Poetic and romantic? Go over the logistics too. Will you write them separately or together? Will they be completely different or will you make the same promises to each other, as you would with traditional vows? Some couples do a little of each. Finally, will you share them with each other or keep them a secret until the wedding day?
Take some time to reflect on your fiancé. Think about how you felt when you first met, what made you fall in love and when you knew you wanted to get married. Write it all out.
They’re called vows for a reason, so the promises are the most important part! A tip: include promises that are broad in scope, such as ‘I promise to always support you,’ as well as very specific to the two of you, like ‘I promise to say I love you every night before bed.’
HAVE A PLAN
Affirm your love, praise your partner, offer promises and close with a final vow. Another way to organize it is to start with a short story and then come back to it at the end.
You want your vows to sound like you and relate to your relationship, and that won’t happen if every word is borrowed from other sources. And if you find yourself relying on cliché phrases (you know, those sayings that have been used over and over so many times they no longer sound genuine) to get your point across, instead come up with a specific example from your relationship that has a similar message.
TAKE OUT ANYTHING TOO EMBARRASSING
You’ve invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so be sure everyone feels included in the moment. That means putting a limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes and obscure nicknames or code words.
Your vows are important, but that doesn’t mean they should drag on. Pick the most important points and make them. If yours are running longer than two minutes, do an edit. Put some of the more personal thoughts in a letter or gift to your fiance on the morning of your wedding and save any guest-related topics for your toasts.
When you practice, don’t just do the same thing over and over. Listen each time – then do it better. Your vows should be easy to say and sound conversational. As you recite them, listen for any tongue twisters and super-long sentences, then cut them. This is also the time to practice the delivery.
MAKE A CLEAN COPY
The paper you read from should be legible, so even if you’re working on it right up until a few moments before your ceremony, use a fresh piece of paper free of cross-outs, arrows and notes. And give some thought to the presentation too, because it will end up in the photos. And it also makes nice keepsake hang in your home later on. Next read 10 Tips On Writing Your Wedding Vows.