I get it. You are knee deep in deposits. Everyone is coming. Your mom told you that you can’t call it off. But everything you just said is not a reason to get married. If the first thing out of your mouth on why you need to follow through with the wedding isn’t that you love him (or her), you need to take pause. A case of the pre-wedding jitters is normal. It’s a big day with a whole lot of pressure, so it’s only natural to experience a healthy dose of nerves leading up to the wedding day. But when those jitters turn to something deeper is when you need to stop and reconsider. Here’s how to tell if you are having cold feet or if you’re making a mistake.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU HAVE COLD FEET OR IF YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE

TRUST YOUR FEELINGS

If you feel like fleeing rather than a little nervous pay attention. In the end, it takes courage, to be honest about these things. If you aren’t honest with yourself and communicate your feelings to your fiancé, you will default into a life rather than choosing.

THIS IS A LIFESTYLE CHOICE

Consider what it will be like to live together every day. Practice working out conflicts and different preferences before deciding to marry, so you either realize s/he’s not the one or he is. In the end, the happiest couples learn to compassionately work through differences into greater intimacy.

THE LITMUS TEST

Every couple will have differences and conflicts to work through. It’s human nature. How and if you are able to do this is the litmus test. Having at least one person in the couple with high emotional intelligence significantly improves the chances of a successful marriage. You and your partner can take the Emotional Operating System (EOS) Quiz and discover your scores. If both of you score low, I suggest you do some couples workshops, classes and/or counseling before marrying.

wedding jitters

SHOP WEDDINGS

You’re engaged! Congrats! Now before you go buying your wedding dress and custom reception menus, the absolute first thing you need to do is set a budget. Don’t go out picking your venue and setting the date without a firm budget in place, and ideally allocate your budget to each category. And we all know you might go slightly over budget (shhh!)! So avoid feeling overwhelmed (and going into debt) with this road map for bringing your vision to life without compromising your financial health. Do yourself a favor and read these 5 saving strategies for funding your wedding.

 5 SAVING STRATEGIES FOR FUNDING YOUR WEDDING

PRIORITIZE YOUR NEEDS

Whether that be the dress as mentioned earlier, the food, decor or the music, sit down as a couple and iron out what’s important to you as a couple. Your needs and your wants. Then prioritize them and allocate them by percentage according to your budget. Always keep in mind your long-term goals such as owning a home, travel, etc.

wedding coral floral table decor

SET A BUDGET

Set a budget. I’m not repeating myself. By saying set a budget, I’m asking you to stick to it. Don’t later say… but this floral option or this wedding invitation is so much prettier. The average cost of a wedding is upwards of $30,000 which requires a savings of $2,500/month. If you need to, extend your engagement to give yourself enough time to save and/or tighten the money belt to reach your goal.

affordable wedding arbor

START SAVING EARLY

As soon as a budget is set, begin saving. The earlier a couple starts socking away for the big day, the better. Talk as a couple on ways you can set aside money each month.

bride and groom next to donut wall

OPEN A WEDDING FUND ACCOUNT

Keep the money you’re saving for the wedding in an account that’s separate from your regular checking and savings account. This will help to better track milestones and eliminate the sensation to splurge when the dollar amount starts going up.

inexpensive wedding reception decor

USE CREDIT WISELY

It’s alright to put wedding items on a credit card in order to rack up points, and take advantage of other benefits. However, in order for a credit card to work in your favor, it is necessary to pay the balance off in full each month. If you’re unable to pay for the charge within the billing cycle, that is a clear indicator that you’re going over budget.

Don’t forget, the most important part of a wedding is celebrating the love between two people — not how much, or little money is spent. Couples should dole out whatever makes them comfortable, while also remembering going into debt to finance a wedding isn’t worth it.

WHAT SAVING STRATEGIES WILL YOU BE TRYING?

The bouquet, that something blue, the garter toss. Have you ever taken a second to consider the purpose of all of these wedding traditions? And whether or not you’d like to continue each tradition for your wedding nuptials. Here is everything you need to know about wedding traditions from the history to its meaning. What wedding traditions are you going to include in your wedding?

12 SURPRISING FACTS ABOUT WEDDING TRADITIONS

WEDDING RINGS

As it turn out… it’s your “ring finger” for a reason. Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it was once thought that a vein in that finger led directly to the heart.

WHITE WEDDING DRESS

Queen Victoria is credited with starting the white wedding dress trend in 1840 — before then, brides simply wore their favorite dress in their favorite color. The white dress became a symbol of wealth because it could only be worn once, while other people would wear their colored wedding dress again one year later to parties and formal affairs.

BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES

If your bridesmaids are less than thrilled about matching dresses, tell them they are meant to be for good luck! The tradition of matching bridesmaids dates back to Roman times, when people believed evil spirits would attend the wedding in attempt to curse the bride and groom. Bridesmaids were required to dress alike in order to confuse the spirits and bring luck to the marriage.

VEILS

On a similar note, brides traditionally wear veils because ancient Greeks and Romans believed they protected her from evil spirits.

SOMETHING BLUE

The tradition of a bride wearing “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue,” comes from an Old English rhyme. Something old represents continuity; something new offers optimism for the future; something borrowed symbolizes borrowed happiness; something blue stands for purity, love, and fidelity.

WEDDING CAKES

The tradition of a wedding cake comes from ancient Rome, where guests broke a loaf of bread over the bride’s head for fertility’s sake. Guests would then scramble around her feet to pick up the crumbs, in order to absorb some of that good luck.

TYING THE KNOT

Ever wondered where the phrase “tying the knot” came from? In many cultures around the world — including Celtic, Hindu and Egyptian weddings — the hands of the bride and groom are literally tied together to demonstrate the couple’s commitment to each other and their new bond.

GROOM CARRYING THE BRIDE

If you thought I was over the spirit thing, think again. According to tradition, the groom carries the bride across the threshold to valiantly protect her from evil spirits lurking below.

MONTH OF JUNE

June weddings are not a new thing. The Roman goddess Juno rules over marriage and childbirth, hence the popularity of June weddings.

HONEYMOONS

Honeymoons weren’t always so luxurious. Ancient Norse bridal couples went into hiding after the wedding, and a family member would bring them a cup of honey wine for 30 days — or one moon — which is how the term “honeymoon” originated.

BOUQUETS

Ancient Greek brides would carry clusters of herbs and spices—not flowers—to ward off evil spirits. That tiny bundle was thought to have magical powers. Thankfully, we’ve graduated from aromatic, herb-filled bouquets to ones filled with peonies, roses and many other gorgeous flowers.

BOUQUET AND GARTER TOSS

Tossing the bouquet is a standard tradition seen at most weddings, although, the garter toss is slowly losing its relevancy among modern-day brides. While the toss is probably the most annoying part of the reception for the singles club, you’ll be surprised to learn why the bride and groom used to throw the two at their guests.

In the past, couples didn’t wait until the honeymoon to consummate their marriage. They would often do the deed right after saying “I do,” which came as no surprise to their family members. The bouquet toss was used as a distraction, so she and the groom could…um…handle their business, while all the single ladies fought for the floral bunches. Tossing the garter also symbolized that the groom had made things official, as eager guests waited outside of the bedchamber for proof.

tradition behind the bridal bouquet

 

MORE WEDDING INSPIRATION

How to keep your in-laws happy during the wedding planning process | How to make royal wedding traditions your own

Happy New Year! I love to reflect on my favorite posts from each year and this year was a good one. From the Royal Wedding to new trends and more. So I decided to give my posts an awards show of my favorites in each category. Which one was your fave 2018 awards post?

AWARD FOR BEST WEDDING ADVICE POST:
THIS IS HOW TO CUT YOUR WEDDING GUEST LIST

THIS IS HOW TO CUT YOUR WEDDING GUEST LIST

AWARD FOR FAVORITE WEDDING STORY:
HOW RAIN REMINDED ME WHAT MARRIAGE IS REALLY ALL ABOUT

HOW RAIN REMINDED ME WHAT MARRIAGE IS REALLY ALL ABOUT

AWARD FOR BEST SOCIAL MEDIA ADVICE:
7  TIPS FOR A PICTURE PERFECT GETTING READY SESSION WITH YOUR BESTIES

7 TIPS FOR A PICTURE PERFECT GETTING READY SESSION WITH YOUR BESTIES

AWARD FOR ENTERTAINING YOUR GUESTS:
6 WEDDING WEEKEND EVENTS TO ENTERTAIN YOUR GUESTS

6 WEDDING WEEKEND EVENTS TO ENTERTAIN YOUR GUESTS

AWARD FOR BEST STYLED SHOOT:
ROMANTIC PARISIAN ELOPEMENT WITH VIEW OF EIFFEL TOWER

ROMANTIC PARISIAN ELOPEMENT WITH VIEW OF EIFFEL TOWER

AWARD FOR BEST BEAUTY POST:
HOW TO SUMMER PROOF YOUR WEDDING HAIR AND MAKEUP

HOW TO SUMMER PROOF YOUR WEDDING HAIR AND MAKEUP

AWARD FOR THE NEWLY ENGAGED:
NEWLY ENGAGED? HERE’S 30 THINGS TO DO IN THE FIRST 30 DAYS

NEWLY ENGAGED? HERE’S 30 THINGS TO DO IN THE FIRST 30 DAYS

AWARD FOR BEST TRADITION POST:
HERE’S THE ACTUAL MEANING BEHIND SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE

HERE’S THE ACTUAL MEANING BEHIND SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE

AWARD FOR FAVORITE ROYAL WEDDING POST:
HOW TO MAKE BRITISH ROYAL WEDDING TRADITIONS YOUR OWN

HOW TO MAKE BRITISH ROYAL WEDDING TRADITIONS YOUR OWN

AWARD FOR BEST FAMILY POST:
HOW TO KEEP YOUR IN-LAWS HAPPY DURING THE WEDDING PLANNING PROCESS

HOW TO KEEP YOUR IN-LAWS HAPPY DURING THE WEDDING PLANNING PROCESS

AWARD FOR HONORING LOVED ONES:
6 WAYS TO HONOR YOUR LOVED ONES WHO HAVE PASSED ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

6 WAYS TO HONOR YOUR LOVED ONES WHO HAVE PASSED ON YOUR WEDDING DAY

AWARD FOR BEST VENDOR ADVICE:
EVERY WEDDING VENDOR YOU NEED TO PULL OFF YOUR WEDDING

EVERY WEDDING VENDOR YOU NEED TO PULL OFF YOUR WEDDING

AWARD FOR BRANDING A WEDDING:
THIS IS HOW TO BRAND YOUR WEDDING

THIS IS HOW TO BRAND YOUR WEDDING

AWARD FOR HELPING WEDDING GUESTS:
WHAT EVERY WEDDING GUEST SHOULD DO

WHAT EVERY WEDDING GUEST SHOULD DO

AWARD FOR BEST PLANNING ADVICE:
WHY YOU NEED A DAY-OF WEDDING PLANNER

WHY YOU NEED A DAY-OF WEDDING PLANNER

AWARD FOR FAVORITE WEDDING:
A SWEET GOOD OLE SOUTHERN WEDDING

A SWEET GOOD OLE SOUTHERN WEDDING

This wedding was a little bit coastal with a whole lot of pink and modern elements. And I’m alllllll for it. Not only are these two newlyweds ridiculously beautiful but they’re also amazing athletes – the groom plays for the Anaheim Ducks and the bride on the UCLA Volleyball team! From coral hued peonies to the coolest bridal party denim jackets… this wedding just keeps on scorin’. What do you love about this pink coastal wedding?

A PINK COASTAL WEDDING AT THE TERRANEA RESORTpeach peonies bouquet groom with navy suit and velvet bow-tie perfume flatlay with peonies groom and bride walking on rocky beach wedding arbor with ocean backdrop engagement ring on peach peonies plum pretty sugar bridesmaids robes with trimpink modern wedding invitationswedding ceremony with ocean viewbride and groom exchanging voewsparents at wedding ceremonybride and groom kiss after the ceremonybride and groom formal pose ideasbride holding custom clutch bag custom bridesmaids denim jean jackets groom and bride formal pose with ocean view navy groomsmen with ties and groom with navy velvet bow-tie navy groomsmen and pink bridesmaids dresses long pink bridesmaids dresses with peach peonies bouquetsmodern indoor cocktail hour reception groom kissing brides head groom with velvet bow-tie modern California wedding reception kings tablesoutdoor wedding kings tables with peach peonies bouquets peach peonies wedding reception flowers outdoor modern cocktail hour denim jackets hanging on back of bridesmaids reception chairs modern California outdoor wedding reception bride and groom kiss on the dance floor

PINK COASTAL WEDDING VENDORS

PHOTOGRAPHER Kristina Adams Photography | DESIGN Intertwined Events | FLORAL DESIGN Oak And The Owl | BAKERY Beverly’s Bakery | HAIR + MAKEUP Beach Bridal Beauty | VENUE Terranea Resort | LINEN Luxe Linen | BRIDESMAIDS ROBES Plum Pretty Sugar | GROOMS BOW-TIE Eton (more options here) | BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES Jenny Yoo | CUSTOM BRIDESMAIDS DENIM JACKETS Etsy (or BHLDN)